A step-by-step guide on how to clean your messy house when you are overwhelmed.
If your house feels completely out of control right now, you’re not alone.
Maybe the laundry has taken over the couch.
Maybe the sink is full of dishes.
Maybe every surface seems to have a pile of something on it.
When you’re overwhelmed, anxious, or dealing with depression, the mess can start to feel impossible to tackle. And unfortunately, the mess itself often makes those feelings even worse.
You look around and think: Where do I even start?
The good news is that you don’t need to clean your entire house today. You just need a simple plan and a place to begin.
If your home feels completely out of control, my one-day house reset for overwhelmed moms can help you get things back to manageable again.
This guide will walk you through exactly how to clean a messy house step-by-step without making the overwhelm worse.
✨ Quick Cleaning Wins to Get You Started
- Grab a trash bag and remove obvious garbage first
- Clear one visible surface, like the kitchen counter
- Start a load of laundry while you clean
- Pick one room and ignore the rest of the house
- Set a short timer and stop when it goes off
Save this cleaning guide for later 👇
If you’re dealing with a messy house and zero motivation, you might want to save this guide so you can come back to it when you’re ready to tackle it.
How to Clean Your House After Depression Made It Messy
When depression takes hold, everyday tasks like cleaning can feel impossible.
Dishes pile up.
Laundry sits for weeks.
Clutter slowly spreads from room to room.
If you’re trying to clean your house after a period of depression, the most important thing to remember is this:
You are not starting from failure, you are starting from recovery.
The goal is not to clean your entire house in one day. The goal is simply to break the cycle of avoidance and start moving forward again.
Start with the smallest possible wins:
• start one load of laundry
• throw away visible trash
• clear one surface
Even a little progress helps get things moving again.
What are the Effects of Living in an Untidy House?
There are definitely psychological effects to living in a home that is untidy or dirty.
Overstimulation can play a big part in making you feel anxious and overwhelmed.
Overstimulation occurs when your senses are in overdrive. Too much stimulation can lead to anxious feelings and associated feelings like anger, depression, and more.
Just look around you right now. Look at the mess.
How does it make you feel?
Happy and relaxed, or worried, anxious, and guilty?
Getting the mess cleaned up is going to be a big help in making you feel better.
If this cycle sounds familiar, it may help to understand the messy house cycle and how to break it, because the mess itself usually isn’t random.
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links that I may earn a commission from. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. You can read my full disclosure HERE.
The Effects of a Messy Home on the Whole Family
Living in a cluttered or disorganized environment can add to the stress levels of the whole family.
Children thrive in structured environments. When your home is messy and disorganized, daily routines often fall apart too.
I experienced this myself.
My home went from always ready for unexpected company to me secretly hoping nobody would stop by.
Bedtimes got later.
Meals became unpredictable.
Laundry and dishes piled up.
Goldfish for breakfast? Sure, because that meant I didn’t have to walk into the kitchen and look at the mess.
I hated living in a messy house, but I felt completely paralyzed by it.
Instead of starting, I just stared at it day after day.
And all that did was make me feel even more anxious and out of control.
How to Get Motivated to Clean When You’re Overwhelmed
When you’re feeling paralyzed by the mess, motivation is incredibly hard to find.
Honestly, nothing magically creates motivation.
But there are a few things that make starting easier:
• Put on loud music or a podcast
• Take before pictures so you can see progress later
• Set a timer for 20 minutes
• Focus on one small area at a time
Most importantly:
You are not trying to clean the whole house today.
You are simply trying to make progress.
(If you’re struggling to get started at all, you might want to read this guide on how to clean when you have zero motivation before tackling a full house reset.)
Where to Start Cleaning a Messy House When You’re Overwhelmed
If you’re staring at a messy house and don’t know where to begin, start with just three things:
- Start one load of laundry
- Throw away obvious trash
- Clear one surface
That’s it.
These three steps take less than ten minutes, but they immediately create visible progress.
Once you see progress, your brain shifts from feeling stuck to feeling capable again.
If having a simple plan would make cleaning feel easier, you can download my free weekly cleaning schedule below. It breaks cleaning into small tasks so your house never gets this overwhelming again.
Watch: Where to Start Cleaning a Messy House
If you’re feeling stuck and not sure where to begin, this quick video walks through the first steps to start cleaning a messy house when you’re overwhelmed.
How to Clean a Messy House Step by Step
First of all: you are amazing and you can do this!
Cleaning a messy house is not a race.
It might take days or even weeks, depending on how much has built up… and that’s okay.
The goal is simply to start moving forward.
Start One Load of Laundry
The first thing you should do is gather one load of laundry and get that started.
Laundry is the perfect first task because it runs in the background while you clean other areas.
Even before you pick up a single toy, you already have progress happening.
Try to complete 1–2 loads of laundry each day.
Clean the Bathrooms First
Bathrooms are a great place to start because they are small spaces where you can see results quickly.
Start by:
• picking up and throwing away trash
• spraying the toilet and letting the cleaner sit
• wiping down the counter and sink
• cleaning the mirror (this is my favorite glass cleaner)
• scrubbing the toilet (Lysol Black will get just about any stain out of your toilet!)
• scrub the shower or tub (Bar Keepers Friend is awesome at getting really dirty things clean)
If you’re dealing with lingering odors, you might also want to read my guide on how to get urine smell out of your bathroom, which walks through exactly how to remove stubborn smells.
Once the bathroom is finished, you’ll already have one fully clean space.
That quick win helps build motivation.
Making Lists to Help You Feel More Accomplished
Once you’ve completed your bathroom, make a list of what needs to be done to get your whole home cleaned up.
Lists are great to work with because they will encourage you to continue on and give you a sense of accomplishment when you are able to cross something off the list.
I love this to-do list because it looks so motivating and it’s pretty! Pretty lists always make me feel more enthusiastic about cleaning.
Time to Clean the Kitchen
Next, walk through the house and gather all dirty dishes.
Move them to the kitchen.
Start with:
• throwing away trash
• clearing off the counters
• soaking dishes that need it
• washing dishes or loading the dishwasher
• wiping down & sanitize counters
• sweeping the floor
When the kitchen is clean, the entire house often feels more manageable.
Clear the Living Areas
Now move into the living areas.
Start with one small surface:
• the coffee table
• the dining table
• the kitchen island
Completely clean that one space before moving to the next.
Seeing a fully clean area helps your brain recognize that progress is happening.
The “Shame Box” Trick for Clearing a Disaster Zone
Every home has one spot that feels impossible.
The chair covered in clothes.
The counter buried under mail.
The random pile that somehow keeps growing.
Instead of sorting everything, try this:
Grab a laundry basket or large box and sweep everything from that problem spot into it.
Don’t organize it.
Don’t sort it.
Just clear the surface.
Put the box somewhere out of sight and set a reminder for two weeks.
For those two weeks, enjoy the clear space.
When you come back to the box later, you’ll probably realize most of it wasn’t important after all.
Cleaning the Bedrooms
Start with kids’ bedrooms if you have children.
Steps:
• throw away trash
• start another load of laundry
• return items to their proper places
• gather donations for toys or clothes that are no longer used
• vacuum the floors
Then follow the same process in the master bedroom.
Don’t Forget About the Floors (But Keep It Simple)
Floors are usually the last thing people want to deal with when cleaning a messy house, and honestly, that’s understandable.
If the idea of vacuuming and mopping the entire house sounds exhausting, don’t worry about doing it all at once.
Start small.
Pick one room and focus on that space. Even one freshly cleaned floor can make the whole house feel calmer and more put-together.
If you have a lot of hard floors like I do, something that makes this step much easier is using a vacuum mop that cleans and mops at the same time. This is one of the few cleaning tools I actually use almost every day because it cuts the job in half.
Instead of vacuuming first and then mopping later, you can do both in one pass. When you’re already overwhelmed, anything that saves time and effort makes a huge difference.
And if you have kids, they actually love using it too. Mine think it’s fun and it’s one chore they’re surprisingly willing to help with.
If cleaning your floors feels like the most overwhelming task, try doing just one room today and leave the rest for tomorrow.
Progress still counts.
Take Before Pictures
Before you start cleaning, take a few photos of the mess. Your brain will often try to convince you that nothing has improved.
When you compare before and after pictures, you’ll clearly see the progress you’ve made.
The Permission Slip Cleaning Trick
When you’re overwhelmed or dealing with depression, the hardest part of cleaning is often the feeling that if you can’t do it perfectly, there’s no point starting.
Try giving yourself permission slips like:
• I have permission to wash only the dishes we need tonight
• I have permission to clean only the bathroom counter
• I have permission to vacuum one room
• I have permission to throw away something I’ve been meaning to fix
Small progress still counts.
Three dishes washed is three fewer dishes tomorrow.
How to Keep Your House From Getting Messy Again
Once your house is back to a manageable state, the next step is putting systems in place.
If you have children, give them age-appropriate chores like:
• emptying the dishwasher
• sweeping the kitchen
• feeding pets
• picking up toys
This helps share the workload.
If you have young kids constantly creating messes, you might also relate to cleaning when kids destroy everything, which is a very common stage for families.
Another helpful habit is a simple nightly cleaning reset so mess doesn’t pile up again. This will help so much by taking some of the weight off of your shoulders.
Establishing a Weekly Cleaning Schedule
A weekly cleaning schedule helps prevent mess from building up again. Instead of doing everything at once, tasks are spread across the week.
The weekly chore schedule is broken down by days and by areas of the house. So for example, Mondays are “Bedroom Days” plus there are certain daily chores that need to be done.
Keep this list on your fridge and check things off as you go. As I said before, checking things off a list will help keep you motivated.
If you’d like access to my free Weekly Cleaning Schedule Checklist so you can continue to stay organized, just sign up below and it will be delivered to your inbox.
You’re Done!
Woohoo! You did it! Having a clean house always makes me feel so much better. I hope you feel better too!
Cleaning up a very messy house can be so overwhelming and I know for me it led to avoidance and then agitation. I can’t stand a messy house but I also couldn’t work up the energy or interest to clean.
Just remember to start small and go from there. You don’t need to do everything all at once, do it at your own pace. And if you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Final Thoughts on Cleaning a messy house when you’re overwhelmed
Cleaning a messy house when you’re overwhelmed can feel impossible. But you don’t need to clean everything today.
Start small. Start one load of laundry. Clear one surface. Throw away one bag of trash. Little by little, your home, and your mind, will start to feel lighter again.
Wishing you all the best!
If you’re still feeling overwhelmed by cleaning, these guides may also help:
Tamara | The Gutz Life says
After a severe bout of depression, part of my self care is hiring someone to come and help clean.
Sarah Winton says
This is so useful! I’d use it as a general cleaning guide at any time.
Patricia Turk says
I hate cleaning but something about having neat and clean surroundings really gets my mind in a better place. Thanks for this nifty guide!
Kiera says
I would love access to the free cleaning checklist! Thank you for such a postive and helpful article!
Christina Mott says
Thank you so much! Let me know if the checklist didn’t arrive in your inbox:)
Kristyn Sanford says
I would love the cleaning checklist as well, if it’s still available! Thank you so much for writing this article, as I was reading I felt like you were talking directly to my situation and how I’ve been feeling. Just reading the way you broke down the whole house into individual tasks just relieved a ton of stress from my shoulders!!! Thank you so much for sharing! Btw I loved the article on ridding your bathroom of the unceasing pee smell, shaving cream=GENIUS!!!
Christina says
Thank you so much! If you’d like the checklist the link is within the post.
-Christina
Peggy Ousley says
I’ve always struggled with cleaning and being organized. I have also struggled with anxiety and depression but it got worse two years ago when my mother passed away and my father attempted suicide prior to her death. To top everything my husbands health issues have become overwhelming. He lost a kidney in 2016 and we thought he had beat the big C. CANCER!! It decided after two years to reappear in his left lung. I gave up!! I took to the couch and didn’t care about my home. I have since gotten on medication that has helped but I also went for counseling. Now I’m ready to get my home in order. Small steps and one day at a time. My husband needs stability and I know this. He’s doing good but some days are harder than others. He still works and he deserves a clean organized home to come home to. I didn’t mention our 2 grandchildren ages 10 and 13. I want our home clean and organized for them to. I also work but I’m home right now since schools are shut down. Nows the time to take action!! Please send me the daily list as I know this will help.
Christina Mott says
Oh wow Peggy! You have had a lot on your plate! I’m glad you are feeling better. Using the daily checklist was the reason I was finally able to get things cleaned up and staying clean. If you go back to the post there is a pink box where you can enter your info and the list will automatically be sent to you. Please let me know if you have any issues accessing it!
-Christina
Kylie says
Peggy I can totally relate to your comment I suffer from Severe Depression and Anxiety as Well as Agoraphobia I Lost my Dad 6 months ago and that has Really Affected Me My House is just totally out of control Christina Thankyou for this Wonderful Post I have signed up for your Cleaning Guide and Have Downloaded the To do list I am going to follow your guide and try to get My House back to what it Was Like I have been dealing with all this for 20+ years and this is the Best Post I have seen about cleaning with Mental Health Issues Thank You So So Much Cheers Kylie 😁
Christina Mott says
Kylie thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that this can help you out – I understand how hard it is to overcome the mess and that most people just don’t understand why you can’t just clean up.
-Christina
Ashley says
I don’t usually read through these articles, but I’m glad I did! For one, its nice to know that I’m not the only woman who is struggling with this. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time and even with the meds and therapy I was still struggling with house work. I finally realized that I had to change my thinking. I realized I was very much a “all or nothing” type person and it was holding me back and making me extremely anxious because I felt like if I didn’t get everything done perfectly I was failing. I was so overwhelmed I would just ignore the mess, but when I would walk into the house I would just want to cry. So recently I decided to start making smaller tasks for myself, instead of thinking I should have the whole house clean in a day. I started with laundry and worked my way up. I had about 5 full baskets of CLEAN clothes that had been sitting there for way, way to long, just needing to be folded. I started by washing a load of dirty laundry and while the washer was going I would re-dry the clean clothes, to get the wrinkles out, and when they needed to be switched I would fold what was in the dryer and start drying the new load. Don’t get me wrong my house is no where close to clean yet, but its getting there and I feel so much better about it. I’m excited to print out the cleaning schedule and start getting even more done!
Christina Mott says
Thank you so much for sharing Ashley!
-Christina
Chris says
Christina it’s helped a lot! Very important for me to win this depression stuck on me!
I’ve started my cleaning and I feel motivated! Thank you 🙏
CYNDI says
Hello. I really enjoyed your article. I have been deeply depressed & lots of anxiety among other health issues You Gave Me Hope And That is Huge for me.
Thank you so much for you compassion and sharing your experience. It made me feel good knowing other people have & are going thru this, and I Know You have helped ALOT God Bless U & I Sincerely Thank You. Stay safe.
Christina Mott says
Thank you so much for the kind words! It always helps to know other people are going through the same thing. I know it usually feels like we’re the only ones who feel a certain way, but that’s just not true.
-Christina
Pam says
Thank you so much going through it now. I just felt so overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start and now I do. Thank you so much.
Christina Mott says
You’re welcome! I’m glad it was helpful:)
-Christina
Lori Chinigo says
Hi, and Thank you… you described me , and now I will try your list . Wish me luck lol , at least I feel a lil better , so….here I go! I am using (and subscribed for) your awesome and helpful checklist… god bless, Lori
Christina Mott says
Good luck Lori!!
Britney Jones says
I loved these tips! It can be so hard for me to get motivated when my house gets dirty all of the time – especially when my kids are making the mess, not me! Something that I do every once in a while to help me be motivated to keep my house clean is to have a carpet cleaning company come and clean my carpets. That helps me to want to keep my house clean because my house looks and feels fresher when I have that done. Thanks again for the tips!
Sue says
Thank you so much for this article. My problems with depression, anxiety, and no motivation started last year, after my 33 year old daughter passed away from alcoholism. I immediately started to raise one of my granddaughters that is currently 6 years old. I had to deal with my grief and my young granddaughters grief, too, I then lost my 18 year old cat in August. I lost the love of my life, my ex-husband in Feb. of this year and had to turn over my granddaughter to her father, that is a violent felon and just got out of prison in March of this year. Oh, I also did a major move after being in 1 apartment and moving to a bigger apartment in the same complex last Oct. To say the least, my home and me are a mess. I’m 63 with some major health problems too. I’ve got to see if this will help pull me up to start taking care of my home. I’m hopeful as last week I finally put the last of my things from the move last week after 8 months, It made me feel better! Thanks again!
Christina Mott says
Thank you, Sue! Wishing you all the best!
Mary says
I like starting with smallest room…bathroom…how does so much stuff stay on the counter. I keep thinking I’m rushed or I’ll put it away tomorrow. Even tho the linen closet is right next to the sink. Talk about needing to exercise some discipline. Living alone allows you to shrug off accountability.
Shelby says
These help me out so much! I used to get so overwhelmed with cleaning every little thing, but this helps to break it down in a much more manageable way.
Britney Jones says
I absolutely loved this guide! It can be so hard to get motivated to clean sometimes, and I always feel bad when my husband comes home and the house isn’t clean. Recently I noticed that my couch was looking a little bit rough so I scheduled an upholstery cleaning. That motivated me to clean the house for the cleaners to come by. Maybe having guests over will encourage me to keep the place clean! Thanks for the tips!
Maid For Homes says
Very Informative post. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us.
jackie says
Thank you so much for sharing this! I am getting ready to do a big spring clean for our home here in Johnstown, CO. I will totally be using your tips. I want to get our upholstery cleaned too! Thanks again!
Debi says
Thank you! This is so helpful!
I have cycles of great maintaining and then slacking off, I jury or whatever, that leads to depression.
I start with a load of laundry, and then straight to load the dishwasher. Then then take the garbage out. So the dishes and the laundry is going while I struggle through the rest of the house. But now I don’t have to struggle through the rest of it. This is wonderful!! Thank you thank you. Thank you!!!!
Christina says
You are so welcome!! Thank you:)
Laurin says
Thank you so much for all your advice! I have been wanting to get started on a deep clean for our home. Making a plan to start tomorrow. Thanks again for sharing!
Dara says
I suffer from chronic depression and I’m somewhat of a hoarder. None of my friends or extended family have ever seen the inside of my house because I’m too embarrassed to show them. I love your idea about starting small and setting a timer. Hopefully, this will help me to finally get my house presentable. Thank you!
Christina says
You can do it!!
JoAnn Peterson says
I feel like you peeked in my window and saw my life. I wake up and think of all I will accomplish each day and at bedtime it is all still there. I am a senior citizen and live alone so I can’t blame the mess /clutter on anyone else. But with your list I now know where and how to start. I am excited to start. Today is January 15th and my Christmas tree is still up. All the rest of the decorations are just sitting waiting ready to be taken out of their boxes which are stacked up everywhere. I stopped opening my blinds a week ago because of the tree.. Thank-you so much. Depression for me is a very personal thing and I hide it from my adult children. I am also easily distracted. Today Is Thursday and I am excited because maybe I will have it all done in a week. Have a blessed day o
LeAnn J says
Thank you so much for this post! I am so grateful I was drawn into reading it, as I typically don’t read posts like this completely. I can relate to every single comment on this post also! Life struggles as well as health issues in other areas have really brought on some deep depression for me as well as I have ADHD.. I’ve always heard that clutter = chaos = crazy, and that is so true! For some reason, I’ve just thought that every time, I would suddenly develop some magic and be able to Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo my home into the condition of perfection…. Needless to say I’m still waiting.! But , I feel extremely motivated by this post as well as knowing there are other people in this world that are struggling and going through the same things that I am and are Overcomers as well! I’m so grateful for post like these with comments that are so relatable. Thank you so much Christina for this post as as well as thank you to each comment , that is given me motivation, as well as strength knowing that I’m not alone! Well wishes and prayers and happy thoughts to each and everyone of you and I am looking forward to the checklist! I left my email in the box above… thanks again to all of you for being the inspiration you are!
Christina says
Thank you so much for you kins words! I’m glad it was helpful!