Preparing for Labor as a First-Time Mom
You know what no one tells you when you’re pregnant for the first time?
That prepping for labor can feel like prepping for the SATs… blindfolded… while emotional and slightly constipated.
The blog posts blur together: kegels, perineal massage, hospital bag checklists. It’s a sea of breathing techniques and birth ball positions, and while some of it is helpful, a lot of it feels like noise. Repetitive, clinical, and just a little…cold.
I was there too, thirty-something weeks pregnant, waddling through my third trimester and drowning in tabs I forgot to close. And then I stumbled on one piece of advice that made me pause mid-scroll: “Relax your hands.” Wait. What?
This advice is just one piece of getting ready for birth. If you want the full picture of what actually helps before labor, you can find it here.
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links that I may earn a commission from. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. You can read my full disclosure HERE.
The Game-Changing Labor Advice That Changed Everything
It came from another mom, not a doctor. And that’s probably why it landed so differently. She said that if you can consciously relax your hands during a contraction, you’re less likely to tense up your entire body.
And when your body isn’t fighting the contraction, it can do what it’s meant to do: move your baby down and out.
That one tip hit me like a contraction to the soul (the gentle kind—early labor, we’ll say). It made birth feel less like a medical mystery and more like a thing I might actually be able to do.
So I stopped Googling.
Because for the first time, I felt like I’d found the kind of advice that didn’t just tell me what to pack or what to fear, but how to trust my own body.
And now, after giving birth three times, I’ve collected a few more gems I wish someone had whispered in my ear before the contractions hit.
If you’re gearing up for labor, here’s the best advice I ever got, and the kind I now pass on to any first-time mama who will listen.
1. Relax Your Hands
Your hands tell your body how to feel. If they’re clenched into fists of fury, chances are your shoulders, neck, and pelvic floor are tense too. That tension? It’s going to fight the very thing your body is trying to do.
Let your hands go soft. Drop your shoulders. Tell your body: We’re safe. We can do this.
2. Ask for Cluster Care
This one was a game-changer for me.
Cluster care means your nurses group all their check-ins, vitals, fetal monitoring, meds, etc., into fewer interruptions so you’re not being poked and prodded every 30 minutes.
It gives you time to rest between contractions and get into a rhythm. Labor is exhausting, and preserving your energy makes a huge difference. Ask for it early. Nurses are usually happy to accommodate if they can.
3. Change Positions Every 30–40 Minutes
You don’t have to bounce on a yoga ball the whole time (unless that’s your thing), but movement matters.
Staying in one position too long can slow things down. Even a small shift, side-lying, standing, leaning over the bed, can help baby rotate and move down.
Think of your pelvis like a tunnel with curves. Movement gives baby more room to navigate it.
Pro tip: Grab a birth ball and practice sitting, rocking, or even leaning on it during contractions. It helps open your pelvis and keeps baby moving in the right direction—plus it’s surprisingly comfy.
4. Listen to Music to Stay in Your Zone
I didn’t play music in hopes of creating some peaceful, spa-like birthing atmosphere. I played it because the hospital is noisy. Between the steady beeping of monitors, footsteps in the hallway, and shift change chatter, it’s easy to feel overstimulated and distracted.
Those sounds can pull you right out of your mental space, and when you’re trying to stay calm and focused during contractions, that outside noise isn’t just annoying…it’s disruptive.
Having a playlist helped me feel more in control of my environment. It gave me something familiar to focus on and helped me stay grounded when things started to feel intense.
Choose whatever makes you feel centered, strong, or comforted. Whether it’s soft piano, worship music, or Beyoncé, go with what works for your headspace.
5. Make Deep, Angry Sounds—Not Scared Ones
Yes, sound matters. But not just any sound. High-pitched yelping or screaming can make your body tighten, and that’s the opposite of what you want when pushing a human out of your body. Instead, go low and loud, think deep grunting, growling, or primal noises.
Let it out like you’re angry, not afraid. Why? Because anger opens up. Fear shuts down. And that deep, open-throated sound? It can literally help your pelvic floor release.
This one felt weird at first, but when I stopped worrying about how I sounded and just let it rip, things started progressing fast.
6. Push Like You’re Pooping (Seriously—Don’t Hold Back)
I saved the best (and most honest) tip for last.
Push like you’re pooping. Not like you’re trying not to poop. Not like you’re holding it in. If you’re trying to be dainty or avoid embarrassment, you’re likely using the wrong muscles.
I know, I know, everyone’s worst fear is pooping on the delivery table. But guess what? Your doctor has seen it all. They don’t care. And if it happens? It means you’re pushing correctly.
Those muscles are powerful, and they’re the ones that actually move the baby. Don’t hold back. Go all in.
Bonus tip: stock your bathroom now. I put together this list of postpartum must-haves with everything I actually used (and didn’t realize I’d need) during those first few days after birth. Trust me, future you will thank you.
Don’t Forget to Hydrate (Yes, Even During Labor)
Labor is a marathon, not a sprint, and just like any endurance event, hydration matters. Dehydration can lead to fatigue, slower contractions, and even a higher risk of interventions.
Most hospitals allow (and encourage) sipping water, clear fluids, or electrolyte drinks like coconut water or labor-specific hydration mixes. A reusable straw cup or water bottle with a flip-top lid is your new best friend—make it easy to sip between contractions without having to sit up or think too hard.
Pro tip: Ask your partner or doula to offer sips regularly. You’ll be focused elsewhere.
Common Labor Myths I’m Glad I Ignored
Myth #1: If You Don’t Do Perineal Massage, You’ll Tear
What matters more? Breathing, staying relaxed, and having a provider you trust.
Myth #2: You Have to Have a Birth Plan
A birth plan is great, as long as you’re willing to pivot. Think of it like a GPS: helpful, but not always the road you’ll end up taking. (P.S. I’ve got a free birth plan checklist below!)
Myth #3: You’ll Just Know When Labor Starts
Spoiler: You might not. I thought it was a backache. Twice. And then I kept waiting for the contractions to get “textbook.” They didn’t. So if you’re not sure? That’s totally normal.
What I Wish I Hadn’t Stressed About (But Totally Did)
The Hospital Bag
I packed like I was going to summer camp and used five things. Chapstick, snacks, a phone charger, and my nursing pillow were the real MVPs.
How I’d Look Giving Birth
Let’s be honest, how you look during labor is the last thing that matters. I wasn’t worried about makeup or angles. With my third, I did take the time to straighten my hair before heading to the hospital (don’t ask me why), and it still looked like a hot mess in the photos. You’ve got bigger things to focus on than perfect hair.
But if doing your hair or putting on a little makeup makes you feel good, then absolutely go for it. Just make sure you’re doing it for you, not because you’re worried about how you’ll look in photos or what anyone else might think.
One special thing I did do for myself was I brought my own labor gown, and felt so much more comfortable than in the standard-issue one from the hospital. Soft, stretchy, and it made those early photos a little less “I just survived a hurricane.”
Pooping While Pushing
If you’re a first-time expectant mom, you might not want to hear this, but I’m going to tell you anyway: you’ll probably poop while pushing. And here’s the thing, you likely won’t even know it happened. No one will say a word. The nurses will quietly take care of it and move right along like nothing ever happened.
They do this every day, multiple times a day. They’ve seen it all, and they truly don’t care. So please, don’t waste energy stressing over it. It’s completely normal, and honestly? There’s no stopping it anyway.
Grab Your Free Birth Plan Checklist
P.S. Want to feel a little more in control before labor starts?
I created a free Birth Plan Checklist to help you get crystal clear on what you want—whether that’s dim lighting, no epidural, or all the popsicles they’ll give you.
It’s simple, not overwhelming, and lets you walk into the hospital (or birth center!) with a plan that actually reflects your priorities.
Grab your free copy and check one more thing off your “about to have a baby” list.
Final Thoughts: You Were Made for This
Labor is hard. But it’s also yours. You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to be fearless. But with the right support and the right mindset, you can walk into that delivery room feeling like your own version of powerful.
So relax those hands. Make your deep “ommm” sounds. And trust that you were made for this.
Getting Ready for Baby? You might also like:
- Signs You’re Going Into Labor
- What to Pack for Labor & Delivery
- Postpartum Must-Haves for New Moms
- How to Prepare for a Baby
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